Thursday, February 9, 2012

Day 28

Has it really been four weeks?! 

Some days I can't believe I have been living here this long already and other days I can't believe I have ONLY been living here this long.
I miss home and my kids, but I kind of don't let myself go there- emotionally. If I allowed it, I might not be able to get out of it and I still have a long way to go. So... cheers (with Pepsi but no ice) to four weeks down.

I needed today. I needed the break in routine, I needed to get rested.
I only go to the orphanage for two hours out of a 24 hour day, but somehow that exhausts me. I think half of it is mental/emotional exhaustion just from constantly thinking/processing/learning/evaluating, etc.

Today, I've just been hanging out, mostly working on choreography. Nashville, please please have a lot of work for me when I get back! I need to dance!! 

Now for the next order of (prayer) business:
Our 10-day wait is up on Monday (13th). That means, we will do all our paperwork, including passport photos, birth certificate, etc on Tuesday (14th). It takes 3-5 business days to process the passport application and get it back, so we will not go to Kiev until Monday (20th).

The team strongly suggests that Annie stay in the orphanage until the 20th to avoid getting sick and risk not passing her medical exam at the embassy, delaying our return home.

Normally, I would probably take the team's advice and leave her until the 20th, just to be safe, but Annie's birthday is on Thursday (16th).  I know it's just a day, and she doesn't know it's her birthday, but I cannot take the thought of her being in there on her very first birthday. Especially since I am here, right down the road, and she is legally our's. Before we got our travel date, I prayed and prayed for six  months that Annie would not have to spend her birthday in the orphanage. Technically, I could take her out the day before. I don't think it's coincidence it worked out that way.

I considered just asking to bring her a cupcake (or some treat) to the orphanage to celebrate, but it seriously breaks my heart. I literally sob every time I think about it.

I want to take her out.
She is bottle fed so there's much less risk of her tummy getting upset by the changes. I have stayed healthy so she shouldn't get sick from me, and I promise we would lock ourselves in this apartment until Monday! It would save us $120 in driver fees too (really justifying here) ... but if she gets sick, and doesn't pass her medical, I might literally have a heart attack.

(Ain't too proud to beg...) PLEASE PLEASE pray with me on this. Nathan says he trusts me to make the call, but I am not good at making decisions confidently. I really don't know what to do and it's upsetting me so much. PLEASE pray- and share any insight you may have.
Thanks, ya'll.


  1. You got it! Many prayers and hugs! You might just have to wait and see how she is then, who knows right? :)

  2. I agree with you. I wouldn't be able to bare leaving her in the orphanage on her birthday. It's heartbreaking. She won't know it's her birthday, but you will. I don't think it's coincidental that it worked out that you can get her the day before, but I'd hate for her to get sick right before her exam. It's a tough decision, and I'll pray God helps you make the best one for both of you.

  3. Prayers coming your way that God will make it abundantly clear on what you should do. I can definitely see both sides of it!
    Courtney Eller

  4. Just something to consider: those first few days out of the orphanage are HARD. Now that I've been there done that (adopted Lily, DS summer 2011), and if I were in your situation, I would leave her in the orphanage until the last possible day. It's the most familiar thing to her, and then you can whisk her away and get home ASAP. That's what we did (although we didn't have much choice), but I cannot IMAGINE spending more time in country between Gotcha Day and going home than we did. It was really, really rough for us and I was with my husband and not alone. Just wanted to throw that out there, I know it's probably not what you want to hear. She will have many more birthdays to come.

  5. Prayers!!! But I will give my opinion if it is worth anything ;) I would go ahead and take her out and just stay at the apartment. Her chances of getting sick are at a higher risk being at the orphanage anyways. This way you get to stay at your apartment, snuggle, bond, and get to know and love on each other more.
    Love and prayers!!!