Has it really been four weeks?!
Some days I can't believe I have been living here this long already and other days I can't believe I have ONLY been living here this long.
I miss home and my kids, but I kind of don't let myself go there- emotionally. If I allowed it, I might not be able to get out of it and I still have a long way to go. So... cheers (with Pepsi but no ice) to four weeks down.
I needed today. I needed the break in routine, I needed to get rested.
I only go to the orphanage for two hours out of a 24 hour day, but somehow that exhausts me. I think half of it is mental/emotional exhaustion just from constantly thinking/processing/learning/evaluating, etc.
Today, I've just been hanging out, mostly working on choreography. Nashville, please please have a lot of work for me when I get back! I need to dance!!
Now for the next order of (prayer) business:
Our 10-day wait is up on Monday (13th). That means, we will do all our paperwork, including passport photos, birth certificate, etc on Tuesday (14th). It takes 3-5 business days to process the passport application and get it back, so we will not go to Kiev until Monday (20th).
The team strongly suggests that Annie stay in the orphanage until the 20th to avoid getting sick and risk not passing her medical exam at the embassy, delaying our return home.
Normally, I would probably take the team's advice and leave her until the 20th, just to be safe, but Annie's birthday is on Thursday (16th). I know it's just a day, and she doesn't know it's her birthday, but I cannot take the thought of her being in there on her very first birthday. Especially since I am here, right down the road, and she is legally our's. Before we got our travel date, I prayed and prayed for six months that Annie would not have to spend her birthday in the orphanage. Technically, I could take her out the day before. I don't think it's coincidence it worked out that way.
I considered just asking to bring her a cupcake (or some treat) to the orphanage to celebrate, but it seriously breaks my heart. I literally sob every time I think about it.
I want to take her out.
She is bottle fed so there's much less risk of her tummy getting upset by the changes. I have stayed healthy so she shouldn't get sick from me, and I promise we would lock ourselves in this apartment until Monday! It would save us $120 in driver fees too (really justifying here) ... but if she gets sick, and doesn't pass her medical, I might literally have a heart attack.
(Ain't too proud to beg...) PLEASE PLEASE pray with me on this. Nathan says he trusts me to make the call, but I am not good at making decisions confidently. I really don't know what to do and it's upsetting me so much. PLEASE pray- and share any insight you may have.