Monday, December 19, 2011


"Hush little baby, don't say a word. Sissy's gonna buy you a mockingbird..."
Overheard Layla as she was putting a diaper on her kangaroo- "just practicing".


Another tough weekend with more sad news. Even though it doesn't effect us directly, we care so much about the ones it does. And we know that a lot of people don't fully understand their grief. Every time we hear more, it breaks our hearts a little and lets the fears rise. I was opening the mail late Saturday night, feeling a little beaten down. I opened it to find this:

With a little note that a sweet friend had purchased it on our behalf.
I really needed that reminder right that second. I needed to remember why we are putting ourselves through this.
Thank you, Cayce.


As much as it stinks, we are having to think about what we will do if we get all the way over there and find out that she is no longer available for adoption.  We won't spend a whole lot of thought on it, because we are staying positive and believe it won't be a decision we have to make.

 The powers that be, keep "gently" suggesting that we just pick another child.  Neither of us really know how we feel about that right now. Our gut reaction is, of course, we don't want another child- we want HER. We didn't just choose to adopt right now, we didn't just choose to adopt internationally, or from this specific country. We chose HER. We would feel like we were replacing her and that's NOT what we want.

But at the same time, we would have the opportunity to give an orphan a life worth living, and it's really hard to consider walking away from that. AND we know that God will bring us together with the child that is meant to be our's. We really, really (really) want it to be her.

Will you be in prayer for our hearts?

God has been clear with His purpose thus far and I pray our fears don't smother our ability to keep hearing it.

Just FYI-
When we do get our date (please please please please please), I may make the blog public again. We believe the initial threat that prompted privacy is over with, and to be honest- there are just too many people that want to read (how cool is that, btw?!). We want to be able to share our experience with anyone who wants to hear it. Reading the blogs of those that have gone before us has been really beneficial/inspiring/relatable/tear-jerking. If our blog can educate someone else, make them aware, give them hope, or let them see that they are not alone in their own experience- I want the option to do that.

Hopefully, the next thing I post is our DATE!!

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