Saturday, December 17, 2011
We feel less threatened today by "the one who shall not be named" and his ability to take Anna Gray. It's always a possibility, we just choose not to believe that he effects our daughter, personally. Although, it is still very scary and painful for some of our waiting friends and we are grieving with those who have already lost their child to him.
We are still very anxious at the idea that there could be someone else in the world on their way to "Gracie", believing she is their daughter, just as much as we do. In our minds and hearts, she is already our's. But until the court agrees, anything can happen.
It sucks. It's a terrible, terrible feeling.
I want to get back to the place of excitement and anticipation! When we do get our date, I want to be overwhelmed with the realization that it is actually happening- not be sick with worry that it will go wrong.
We are choosing faith.
"Don't forget in the dark what God told you in the light."
Each and every step gets us closer to her. For now, we pray for the phone call that we have an appointment.
I am going to shop for Christmas gifts and enjoy it. I'm going to stock up on snacks, toiletries, and meds that we will need to take with us and continue piling them up in the corner. I'm going to work on my lists and instructions for those helping while we are gone. I'm going to look for vintage crib sheets so I can show the judge where our daughter will be sleeping. I'm going to stalk the ones who are already in country and might get a glimpse at our girl. I'm going to make plans with friends who will be in country with us AND I'm going to make friends with one of those people who need to give away $$ for tax purposes :) haha.... J/K on the last one!